goddess of clarity: a blog about politics, culture, and serenity

Archive: February 1 - February 15, 2006

February 14, 2006 — 12:43 EST

An update on the Armies of One participating in the Winter Olympics as the sole representatives from their countries:

Ethiopia's Robel Teklemariam was suspended for five days along with 11 other cross-country skiiers after tests showed they had abnormally high red blood cell counts. He protested his innocence, and the IOC admitted that the suspension was made on "health grounds" and not as a punishment for wrong-doing. Teklemariam missed the men's 30k pursuit on Sunday, but is still set to compete in the 15k classical and men's sprint, provided he passes another test this week. If all goes well, Teklemariam will be the first Ethiopian to compete in the Winter Games. "As the only Ethiopian here, he practises alone with only an MP3 player and a set of silver headphones for company." Awwww. I hope he makes some friends in the Olympic Village. Go Robel!

And in even sadder news, "Grandma Luge" is out! Anne Abernathy, the sole representative of the U.S. Virgin Islands and at 52 the oldest female Winter Olympian at these or any other Games, crashed her sled on a practice run on Saturday and broke her wrist. A cancer survivor, this would have been her sixth Olympics, and she is immensely popular with fans and fellow competitors in the world of luge. What a total bummer for such a super-sounding lady.

Another lone luger, Venezuela's Werner Hoeger, finished 32nd out of 35 competitors in the men's singles on Sunday. Hoeger is also 52, and is the second-oldest male athlete at the Games (second only to 54-year-old U.S. curler Scott Baird). A professor of kinesiology at Boise State University, Hoeger was a gymnast in his youth and only took up luge 10 years ago.

And wrapping up luge, 19-year-old Ma Chih-Hung of Taiwan finished 28th out of 35 in the same event.

Lastly, Andrei Drygin of Tajikistan finished 51st out of 55 skiiers in the men's downhill on Sunday, a full 10 and a half seconds behind the winner. Ten seconds seems like such a short amount of time. Go ahead, count to 10. It hardly takes any time at all. But it's enough to separate the best skiiers in the world from the merely incredibly good skiiers. It hardly seems fair. Andrei has two more events to go: the gaint slalom and the Super-G.

—lori.

February 13, 2006 — 12:43 EST

While watching opening ceremonies during the Olympics, I always develop a keen curiousity about and affinity for those countries that send only one athlete to the Games. They march in, proudly bearing their country's flag (cuz hey, the flag ain't gonna bear itself!), all smiles and waves to the crowd. I kinda amire these guys, carrying the full weight of their country's expectations on their lonely shoulders, all with a smile and a wave.

At the 2004 Summer Games in Athens, there was only one country -- Burundi -- that sent just one athlete. Jimmy Anak Ahar raced in one event, the men's 1500k meters, which was held on my birthday! He came in last, but I sort of adopted him as my special imaginary Olympic friend for the duration of the Games.

This year, there are 18 countries out of the 84 total that have sent a Team of One. I'm going to try to keep track of these Lone Rangers and their exploits during the course of the Games. They are:

• Albania -- Erjon Tola (men's slalom, giant slalom, Super G)
• Bermuda -- Patrick Singleton (skeleton)
• Costa Rica -- Arturo Kinch (cross country skiing; men's 15k classical)
• Cypus -- Theodoros Christodolou (slalom and giant slalom)
• Ethopia -- Robel Teklemariam (cross country men's 15k classical, 30k pursuit, sprint, 50k free)
• Kenya -- Philip Boit (cross country skiing; men's 15k classical, sprint)
• Kyrgyzstan -- Ivan Borisov (giant slalom)
• Luxembourg -- Fleur Maxwell (ladies' singles figure skating)
• Madagascar -- Mathieu Razanakolona (slalom and giant slalom)
• Nepal -- Dachhiri Sherpa (cross-country skiing; men's 15k mass start)
• Portugal -- Danny Silva (cross-country skiing; men's 15k classical and men's sprint)
• San Marino -- Marino Cardelli (giant slalom)
• Senegal -- Leyti Seck (slalom, giant slalom, Super-G)
• Tajikistan -- Andrei Drygin (men's downhill, giant's slalom, Super-G)
• Chinese Taipei -- Ma Chih-Hung (luge)
• Thailand -- Prawat Nagvajara (cross country skiing; men's 15k classical)
• US Virgin Islands -- Anne Abernathy (luge)
• Venezuela -- Werner Hoeger (luge)

Go team! Fight team! Yeeeeeaaaaa team!

—lori.

February 12, 2006 — 22:03 EST

Overheard in Rochester: Another Noun Gone

Where: Wilson Commons on U of R campus

Freshman boy: Wow, ever since last weekend my Facebook has totally exploded.

Freshman girl: Did you friend me?

—lori.

February 11, 2006 — 9:10 EST

I'm a curling widow. And I don't mean that I am a bereaved woman who enjoys passing strands of ribbon over a scissor blade.

Allow me to explain. You see, last year Mr. Goddess joined the Rochester Curling Club (yes, that curling: brooms, sweeping, rocks shaped like tea kettles, endless Leno punchlines) and now I hardly ever see the guy.

This year he plays in both a beginner and an intermediate league, and by all accounts he's quite the natural. This all has nothing to do with me. I've tried curling exactly once and I spent way too much time banging my ass against the ice. I guess I'm just a simple gal who enjoys her relationship with friction a bit too much to consider giving it up.

Mr. Goddess' devotion to curling was on display last night when he was serving as time keeper for the 58th annual U.S. Women's Curling National Bonspiel, held this year in Rochester (which, I assure you, is a huuuuge deal in the curling world). This is all by way of saying that, when the Olympic opening ceremonies started last night, I was on my own, curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and a Special Dark bar, waiting for the festivities to begin. What can I say; I am the spectator in spectator sport. No worries. I just had to fill him in on the highlights when he got back.

Some highlights:

• The "alpine tableau," complete with Riiiiicolaaaaa horn blowers and ballroom dancers dressed in cow-print formal wear. Loved the moo-ing.
• The human bodies forming the shape of a ski jumper. That was pretty cool.
• The woman who carried out the Italian flag was just about the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
• The performance of the Italian national anthem by a nine-year-old girl was very touching. The Olympics always make me think about national anthems and how much ours sucks. We have much to learn from the rest of the world on this front. In an American opening ceremony, the national anthem would have been screeched to the high heavens by Christina Aguilera in full-on vibrato mode until the lyrics are barely recognizable.
• The parade of disco and 80s pop hits that the athletes marched in to. I had no idea the Italians loved Abba and the Village People so much.
• Pavaratti singing Nessun Dorma at the end. The old boy may look like he's dipped his head, eyebrows and beard in bootblack, but man, he can still sing. That song always gives me goosebumps, and all the athletes were on their feet by the end. I could see the Americans high-fiving each other and screaming like they were at a Dave Matthews concert. "Awesome, dude. Hey, you think you can get that song on iTunes?"

And what would highlights be without lowlights:

• As usual, the NBC commentators provided most of the lowlights. This year, Bob Costas didn't have the ever-perky Katie Couric by his side, but was instead saddled with killjoy news guy, Brian Williams, who couldn't resist pointing out each county's political woes during these turbulent times. Lighten up for a night, Brian!
• For example, when the Israeli team marched in, Williams said, "Of course we all remember from the Steven Speilberg film Munich that at the 1972 Olympics 11 Israeli athletes were kidnapped and killed by terrorists." Thanks for that, Brian.
• And Bob was guilty of his share of boners. Most annoyingly, Bob informed us that the acrobats wearing white latex S&M outfits "will eventually form the shape of a dove." Way to ruin the surprise, Bob!
• What the hell were Susan Sarandon and Yoko Ono doing there?!

And of course, what would an Olympic opening ceremony be without some commentary on the team uniforms. The fashion gold goes to:

• The United States: The smartest thing the U.S. team ever did was enlist Canadian company Roots to make their uniforms for the last couple Olympiads. They looked both modern and retro in their cool, racing stripe jackets and wooly berets.
• France: The French looked very styley in their black jackets and long, cream-colored scarves.
• Ireland: Nice khakis.

And now, the agony of defeat:

Canada: The usually stylish Canadians this year look like they are being sponsored by Target or something.

Germany: I guess someone had to claim all that left-over Kozmo.com swag, and it looks like Germany is the lucky country in their sea of fluorescent orange and green.

Italy: The always fashionable host country bizarrely decides to go with silver puffer jackets that make them look like either space men or jacket potatoes.

And finally, today's Olympic fun fact provided by those always informative NBC commentators:

"The Renaissance began in Italy."

Thanks, guys.

—lori.

February 7, 2006 — 16:56 EST

I call no tag backs, Quistleton!

Doh! Too late. I'm it.

Five Weird Habits

1. Every morning, at every job I've had since college, a make out a list of the things I need to do that day. As I finish each item, I cross it off the list. And if I'm ever too busy in the morning to make out a list for the day, I'll go back to it the next day, carefully crossing off tasks that are now a day old.
2. I play with my hair, especially when I'm bored or when I'm trying to concentrate. I twirl, pull, twist, twiddle. If I find a split end, I pull it apart to see how far up the hair I can go. I must look like an insane person.
3. I have a strong bias toward starting things AT THE BEGINNING. When the next Harry Potter book comes out, for instance, I won't be able to just read the new book. I have to go back and start over again AT THE BEGINNING. I missed a couple seasons of The Sopranos when we didn't have HBO and now I want to catch up before the new season starts. But I can't just watch the seasons I missed; I have to start AT THE BEGINNING. You get the picture.
4. At meal times, I taste all the different food items I have on my plate to determine which one tastes best. Then I save a bite of that item for last, so it's the last taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.
5. I let my gas tank get down to, like, an eighth of tank before I stop at the gas station.

I'm also out of people to tag, so I guess the meme dies with me. Meme killer!

—lori.

February 6, 2006 — 15:24 EST

The last time a team I was rooting for in a major championship game actually won was in 1980. I was nine years old. The Phillies beat the Kansas City Royals in six games to win their one and only World Series title that year, and I was in heaven. I can still see Tug McGraw leap off the mound after striking out Willie Wilson for the last out. We all ran out into the street in our pajamas, banging pots and pans while our neighbor Andy shot his hunting rifle into the air. Good times.

It's been a long dry spell, which continues unbroken after yesterday's Super Bowl loss for the Seattle Seahawks. It seemed from very early on in the game that something -- the Lord God Almighty, the cruel hand of fate, the NFL front office -- was rooting for Seattle to lose just as much as I was rooting for them to win. Despite the fact that the Steelers couldn't even muster a first down through the first quarter, Seattle just couldn't seem to catch a break. They were the victims of an alarming number of bad calls -- phantom holds, phantom touchdowns, offensive pass interference?! -- and what was up with those promos throughout the first half, featuring a parade of Steelers lovingly caressing the Lombardi trophy when they hadn't even put any points up on the board yet?!

Turns out, I'm not the only one who thinks this way. If you've got some time to burn, check out the Seahawks forum on the Seattle Times website. Some representative subject lines: "Steeler fans know the game was handed to them;" "The NFL is rigged!!!;" and "A call to action: this can never happen again." There are some might angry latte-sippers out there in the Emerald City this morning.

While I don't endorse the whole "conspiracy theory" angle to the game, it does bug me how the national media can grab onto a storyline and just keep rolling with it until the momentum seems unstoppable and the result inevitable. While this happens in political reporting as well, the storylines and agenda setting can be a lot more obvious to spot in the world of sports. Yesterday's Super Bowl pitted the blue-collar, old-economy beer guzzlers of Pittsburgh against the new-economy, tech-savvy, well, latte sippers of Seattle. The Steelers were simultaneously the underdogs (no one would have picked them to win the AFC six months ago) and a dynasty in the making, rising from their glorious past to even greater heights. America, with it's paradoxical love of both underdogs and winners, couldn't help but be charmed. (Except out here in western New York, where Bills fans hate the Steelers with an intensity that burns brighter than the light of a thousand suns.) Add the smiling mug of Jerome Bettis (playing the part of the hometown hero returning for "one last big game") and the lanky shyness of Ben Roethlisberger (starring as the understudy who "went out there a nobody, but came back a star") and you've practically got the makings of an MGM musical. For the Seahawks to win, it would mean that Gene Kelly doesn't fall for Debbie Reynolds at the end of the movie. Seattle didn't stand a chance.

Best Super Bowl ad: The only one that made me laugh out loud was the Bud Light ad with the "magic fridge." Too bad the magic fridge is stocked with a crap beer like Bud Light.

—lori.

February 1, 2006 — 11:27 EST

Mr Goddess and I both stopped at the wine shop on the way home yesterday. We must have been thingking the same thing: We're in for a rough night, better stock up on provisions.

Yep, it's that time again. Let's just get it over with, shall we?

The Goddess Watches the State of the Union Address (So You Don't Have To)

9:00 -- Wow, the State of the Union is being broadcast in high-definition on NBC. Weird. Now I have to decide whether to watch it on NBC or PBS, which was my first choice. Hell, I can't resist. I'll go with the high-def. Wow, Sam Alito's bald spot is really ... whispy.

9:02 -- Tim Russert is going on about the State of the Union serving as a "laundry list of programs." How did that become a phrase? Did people used to list their laundry?! I've never written down my laundry in my life.

9:04 -- Cabinet is still filing in. Don Rumsfeld is taking his time. He's bursting into laughter and shaking hands maniacally with every person he passes.

9:08 -- "Mr. Speaker, the president of the United States!"

9:09 -- Chris Matthews reports that Cindy Sheehan has already been arrested and Bush hasn't even made it to the podium yet.

9:11 -- He just got to the podium and the speaker introduces him and everyone stands up again! Sheesh!

9:12 -- Finally, speech begins. I bet the state of the union is "strong." Who wants to bet me?

9:13 -- Standing "O" for Coretta Scott King, kind of a no-brainer, really. NBC even had a graphic ready.

(Side note: In high-definition, Dennis Hastert looks like the love child of Wilford Brimley and the Pillsbury Doughboy.)

9:14 -- "But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone." Hey, I'll be nice if he'll be nice!

9:15 -- "Tonight the state of our union strong, and we will do what we can to make it stronger!" Bingo! We have a winner! Johnny, tell the lady what she's won.

9:16 -- Apparently freedom in still on the march. Just a few more countries to go. Watch out Burma, looks like you're next.

9:18 -- "We love our freedom and we will fight to keep it." Cut to a guy in the gallery wearing a keffiyeh; he does not look amused.

9:20 -- "We will never surrender to evil." Where did he get this speech, the Ovation-A-Matic 3000?

9:21 -- Mr. Goddess detects the first out-and-out lie of the evening. There is no new money in the budget for reconstruction efforts in Iraq, and all previously allocated monies have already been awarded to contracters from "the coalition of the wiling."

9:22 --"We are winning!" More standing "O".

9:24 -- "There is a difference between responsible criticism that aims for success, and defeatism that refuses to acknowledge anything but failure. Hindsight alone is not wisdom, and second-guessing is not a strategy." OOhh, no applause for that one on the left side of the aisle. What happened to that new "tone" you were talking about earlier, sir?

9:25 -- And we have the first smirk of the evening! "Members of Congress, however we feel about the decisions and debates of the past, our nation has only one option: We must keep our word, defeat our enemies, and stand behind the American military in this vital mission." You know the person who wrote that line said to himself, "that'll get 'em. I'll lump support for the troops in with support for past decisions, and those bastards on the left will have to stand up!" Bush enjoys the moment, and the smirk continues.

9:26 -- Moves on to letter from a dead soldier. That should be wrong. "Lisa, Sarah Jo, and Bud are here tonight." I hate this. Oh my god, he just WINKED at them. Wow, still applauding. Still smirking. This crap drives me nuts, and not because I "hate America" or anything. I just hate it when these guys bathe themselves in our natural inclination to support and admire the bravery and sacrifice of men and women in uniform. I especially hate it when this guy does it.

9:29 -- "Democracies in the Middle East will not look like our own, because they will reflect the traditions of their own citizens." Boy, I hope he really means that bit.

9:30 -- First "nu-cyoo-lar." (sigh)

9:31 -- "We show compassion abroad because Americans believe in the God-given dignity and worth of a villager with HIV/AIDS, or an infant with malaria, or a refugee fleeing genocide, or a young girl sold into slavery." This is such melodramatic bullshit. We have not backed this up for years. We suck at international aid. Maybe it's because I just finished reading Jimmy Carter's book, but this bit has me particularly steamed.

9:32 -- "I urge members of Congress to serve the interests of America by showing the compassion of America." [cricket ... cricket ... cricket] The "compassion of America" fails in the applause line department, so we move swiftly on to terrorism.

9:33 -- "Fortunately, this nation has superb professionals in law enforcement, intelligence, the military, and homeland security. These men and women are dedicating their lives, protecting us all, and they deserve our support and our thanks." That's a winner! Way to get back on that horse, Ovation-A-matic 3000.

9:34 -- Moving on to wiretaps, and this time the prez is getting mad. "If there are people inside our country who are talking with al Qaeda, we want to know about it, because we will not sit back and wait to be hit again." The crowd (half of them at least) goes crazy; Bush hits instant smirk mode. Only this president could turn violating the law and systematically ignoring the civil rights of countless anonymous Americans into a politics winner! Bastard, bastard!!! Need more wine.

9:36 -- In the next breath he's talking about freedom and the values that have always made America great. "The only alternative to American leadership is a dramatically more dangerous and anxious world. Yet we also choose to lead because it is a privilege to serve the values that gave us birth." If it weren't for this laptop weighing me down I would have fallen off the couch by now.

(Side note: Wow, Dick Cheney looks like the penguin from Batman. High-definition is not kind.)

9:39 -- Tepid applause on tax cuts (even from republicans). "In the last five years, the tax relief you passed has left $880 billion in the hands of American workers, investors, small businesses, and families" He always mentions "familes" when he talks about tax cuts. It's such a meaningless, warm-and-fuzzy word. If your mother gave birth to you, you're part of a "family."

9:40 -- "Make the taxt cuts permanent!" That one gets a roar.

9:41 -- I can't believe he's still promoting cuts to "the growth of non-security discretionary spending." You know, things like student loan programs, housing benefits, health care for poor children, stuff like that. We'll be cutting 140 programs! Yippee!

9:42 -- Asks for the line item veto. Every president asks for it, no one ever gets it.

9:43 -- "Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security." Cut to Hillary leading the democrats in their own standing "O".

9:44 -- "So tonight, I ask you to join me in creating a commission to examine the full impact of baby boom retirements on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid." Everyone loves a commission. It's code for "Hey, it's an election year. Let's do nothing! Cool!"

9:47 -- "America is adicted to oil ... and the best way to break this addiction is technology." I smell hydrogen cars ...

9:48 -- Zero-emission coal-fired plants ... solar and wind ... nuc-yoo-lar engery ... "We will increase our research in better batteries for hybrid and electric cars, and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen." Yeah, hydrogen cars!! Ding ding ding ding! On to the bonus round!

(Side note: Bush's State of the Union speech in 2005: "And my budget provides strong funding for leading-edge technology, from hydrogen- fueled cars to clean coal to renewable sources such as ethanol." Bush's State of the Union speech in 2003: "Tonight I am proposing 1.2 billion dollars in research funding so that America can lead the world in developing clean, hydrogen-powered automobiles." You know why presidents love hydrogen cars? Cuz they're never gonna happen! Not during that president's administration, anyway. It's a way to punt the problem down the field while still sounding all cool and science-y.)

9:50 -- Wow, he's not stopping at hydrogen. He wants cars that run on ethanol derived from corn, wood chips, and switch grass (whatever the hell that is) I got an idea. Why don't we raise the CAFE standards for light trucks (including SUVs)? That we can do right now.

9:51 -- "Tonight I announce an American Competitiveness Initiative, to encourage innovation throughout our economy, and to give our nation's children a firm grounding in math and science." You know I would be soooo into this if it wasn't coming from the guy who said the existing number of stem cell lines was prefectly adequate for research and that the jury is still out on global warming and evolution.

9:55 -- "[Parents] are concerned about unethical conduct by public officials, and discouraged by activist courts that try to redefine marriage. They worry about children in our society who need direction and love, and about fellow citizens still displaced by natural disaster, and about suffering caused by treatable diseases." How the hell does he link Katrina, the lobbying scandal, and gay marriage??? It's like the $10,000 Pyramid or something. "... ummmmm, things republicans are scared of, things you wish you could avoid, ... things parents are concerned about!"

9:56 -- I wish someone would tell me once and for all what "legislate from the bench" even means. It has to be code for something, the way the conservatices go nuts whenever Bush says it.

9:57 -- "Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos." He's been watching way to much Sci-Fi Channel.

9:59 -- Shout out to Laura Bush's "Helping America's Youth Initiative." The first lady is always out in front on these controversial issues. I hear next year she's plaaning to start here "Cuddling America's Puppies Initiative."

10:00 -- Turing (very briefly) to Katrina. How's he gonna make this pile of turds sound good? "As we recover from a disaster, let us also work for the day when all Americans are protected by justice, equal in hope, and rich in opportunity." Ah, yes. The old "smother the pile of turds in glowing generalities" trick. Works every time.

10:02 -- Bush hits wrap-up mode by linking his own policy fuck-ups to Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King and the Marshall Plan. Bastard.

10:03 -- "May God bless America. Dubya, out!"

—lori.