goddess of clarity: a blog about politics, culture, and serenity

Archive: August 16 - August 31, 2006

August 29, 2006 — 21:40 EDT :: permalink

Two things you need to know on this the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina:

One: Before President Bush’s speech from New Orleans’ historic Jackson Square, a White House advance team trucked in generators and a bank of arc lights to bathe the square and its historic buildings in that Disney-perfect glow (surrounding buildings are draped in black netting to hide them from view). When the speech was over, they took the generators.

Two: The first food and medical aid arrived at the Convention Center -- where some 20,000 people were waiting -- on September 2, five days after the storm hit. Five days and not even a guy with a clipboard. How does that happen?

—lori.

August 28, 2006 — 20:30 EDT

And so it begins.

Today, as I rushed through the local Wegmans looking for tonight's dinner, I saw my first display of Halloween candy. At this pace, I should be running into the first Christmas card display of the year in about three weeks.

Halloween is more than two months away. Who needs two months to plan for Halloween?! You buy two or three bags of candy and a plastic pumpkin to dump them into. Done.

So before we even hit Labor Day, the festive "holiday season" has begun. Let me be the first to wish you a Merry Hallowgivingmas. And a Happy New Year.

—lori.

August 27, 2006 — 18:33 EDT

Unflattering Politician Photo of the Week

(Press Conference Pressure Edition)

(Photo appeared in Slate)

President Bush's press conferences have never been known as repositories of great wisdom or, well, clarity. Perhaps it's good that he holds so few of them. But this week, he bypassed the unintelligble blandness we've come to expect from these affairs, and landed smack-dab in the middle of Crazytown. A sample:

QUESTION: What did Iraq have to do with that?

PRESIDENT: What did Iraq have to do with what?

QUESTION: The attack on the World Trade Center?

PRESIDENT: Nothing, except for it's part of -- and nobody has ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a -- the lesson of September the 11th is, take threats before they fully materialize, Ken. Nobody has ever suggested that the attacks of September the 11th were ordered by Iraq.

Same press conference, one minute earlier:

QUESTION: A lot of the consequences you mentioned for pulling out seem like maybe they never would have been there if we hadn't gone in. How do you square all of that?

PRESIDENT: Now, look, part of the reason we went into Iraq was -- the main reason we went into Iraq at the time was we thought he had weapons of mass destruction. It turns out he didn't, but he had the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction. But I also talked about the human suffering in Iraq, and I also talked the need to advance a freedom agenda. And so my question -- my answer to your question is, is that, imagine a world in which Saddam Hussein was there, stirring up even more trouble in a part of the world that had so much resentment and so much hatred that people came and killed 3,000 of our citizens.

You know, I've heard this theory about everything was just fine until we arrived, and kind of "we're going to stir up the hornet's nest" theory. It just doesn't hold water, as far as I'm concerned. The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East.

QUESTION: What did Iraq have to do with that?

PRESIDENT: What did Iraq have to do with what?

QUESTION: The attack on the World Trade Center?

PRESIDENT: Nothing...

Wash, rinse, repeat.

If you haven't seen it yet, you must watch the Daily Show's take on the rest of Bush's increasingly screechy display. Stewart captures the meltdown far above my poor power to add or detract.

—lori.

August 24, 2006 — 16:32 EDT

R.I.P Pluto 1930-2006

The solar system got a little smaller today, as Pluto was voted off the island by scientists at the International Astronomers Union meeting in Prague.

I was kinda hoping they would decide to add more planets, not kick one to the curb.

OK, the bad news? School kids everwhere need to come up with a new mnemonic device for listing the planets (wow, that was hard; I need a mnemonic to help me spell "mnemonic"). When I was a kid, there were no "very eager mothers" serving pie. The sentence we learned in fourth grade from Miss Bechtel was a little more risqué: Mary's Violet Eyes Make John Smile Until Night Passes. What exactly happens after night passes was left to our Catholic schoolgirl imaginations. In fact, that device may still work with a bit of minor tweaking. How about, Mary's Violet Eyes Make John Smile Until November? Or Mary's Violet Eyes Make John Smile Until Nine o'clock?

The good news: Those kids' parents will have one less styrofoam ball to paint to complete the emergency "solar system diorama" needed for tomorrow's science fair.

—lori.

August 23, 2006 — 20:35 EDT

It seems that while my back was turned, the Phillies have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar. Going in to tonight's game against the Cubs, the Phils -- at one game over .500 -- are 1 1/2 games out of the Wild Card race.

This means two things. First, the National League really sucks this year (thanks, interleague play; what a great idea that turned out to be). Second, now that I'm watching again, their season should start circling the drain any day now.

—lori.

August 21, 2006 — 21:57 EDT

I turned 35 yesterday.

While the day itself was lovely, it kinda hit me a little harder than I expected. My 30th birthday didn’t affect me much at all; my life was so crazy at the time that turning 30 was almost an afterthought. And once you turn 30, you don’t really feel much different turning 31 … or 32 … or 33 … or 34.

So 35 came as something of a surprise. It does feel different. It feels old. I’m no longer in that much-coveted 18-34 year-old demographic. I’m now in the 35-45 — or even worse, 35-50 — age bracket. No more iPods and bootcut jeans for you, missus. From now on, it’s strictly financial services and “casual sportswear.”

To mark to occasion, I’ve taken a leaf from a fellow blogger’s book. The goddess presents:

35 Things I Know

1. There is something innately valuable and good about uncovering the facts — the who, what, when, and where before you get to the why and how. As Daniel Patrick Moynihan said, "Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts."
2. No matter what time I wake up in the morning, it will always be at least 20 minutes later than I wanted to.
3. I love lists: making them, crossing them off, reading them in women’s magazines, or watching them on VH-1 (More Top 100 Bad Songs of the '80s?! I am so there!)
4. The fastest land mammal is the cheetah.
5. Mr. Goddess hates my nervous habit of pulling and twisting my hair, and when I leave hair in the sink after blowing it dry. Other than that, he loves me unreservedly.
6. Rochester is a much better place to live than most people realize (including me).
7. I will eat anything if it’s covered in blue cheese.
8. My biggest pet peeve is people who talk in movies. In my book, these people are the lowest order, below “people who lie” and “people who are mean to children and small animals.”
9. Jon Stewart deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
10. Baseball is the best game there is. The proof of this is how it continues to survive despite Major League Baseball’s committed attempts to kill it.
11. Roger Taylor is still the cutest member of Duran Duran (though I wouldn’t kick John out of bed for eating crackers).
12. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, of course it makes a noise! Duh! Why is this even a question?!
13. Sylvester Stallone’s Over the Top is the worst movie ever made.
14. There are two things I don’t mind spending money on: travel and books.
15. There are $4,000 purses in the world, and that fact disturbs me.
16. I love photography, but I’m awful at it, and I frustrate myself into not trying. Instead, I collect old cameras and stereoviews.
17. In the work place, I am least happy when placed in a position of responsibility or power. Instead, I much prefer it when people in positions of responsibility and power look to me as an invaluable authority or expert in some highly specific task. For example, I would have made a fantastic Chief Ax Designer on the Lord of the Rings films.
18. I’ve never participated in team sports. I prefer situations where the only person I can let down is myself.
19. Running is the only exercise I enjoy, though “enjoy” is too strong a word.
20. I was at my goal weight for one day in the 11th grade.
21. I want another tattoo.
22. Fall is the best season; summer is the worst.
23. I never wear make-up, but sometimes I wish I knew how.
24. It seems like a waste to me to write a novel about something that could actually happen. I rarely read fiction unless it’s fantasy fiction. I usually read histories and political nonfiction.
25. It takes a lot of courage to get involved in community affairs. Local politicians and activists deserve some level or respect and admiration.
26. I see myself in my dreams. In my memories, too. I can pan and zoom and change angles in my memories. My favorite angle is an aerial view.
27. I have a horrible sense of direction and spatial relationships. I can get lost going someplace I’ve been to multiple times.
28. I want to buy a Mini Cooper some day, but I have to learn to drive a stick first.
29. You can tell when I’m drunk because I start to repeat myself.
30. This year, Greek officially passed Indian as my favorite cuisine.
31. In grade school, I wanted to be a historian when I grew up. I had no idea what a historian did, but history was my favorite subject.
32. I really liked earth science in high school, and sometimes I wish I had become a geologist.
33. My ideal Saturday involves a couple hours with a good book, watching a Phillies game while doing housework during the commercials, then going to a movie.
34. On a daily basis, the current presidential administration does something that makes me want to cry.
35. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and thank my 19-year-old self for being smart enough to stick with Mr. Goddess, even though an ocean separated us for a time.

—lori.

August 18, 2006 — 12:54 EDT

Don't Hassel the Hoff.

It's amazing the things you learn when you're limited to network television.

For instance, did you know that America's Got Talent? I didn't. Apparently the talent in question involves juggling chainsaws while concentrating very hard on not being distracted by whatever the heck it is David Hasselhoff has done to his face. The winner (are there really any winners here?) was a yodeling, 11-year-old Janis Joplin impersonator. I shit you not.

Cancelling cable may have been a mistake.

—lori.