goddess of clarity: a blog about politics, culture, and serenity

Archive: January 16 - January 31, 2008

January 29, 2008 — 21:51 EST

John McCain is the big winner in Florida tonight. Mitt Romney finishes a close second.

What kind of name is "Mitt" anyway? Did his mom name him Mitt, or is it one of those weird upper-crusty childhood nicknames that stuck? It doesn't even sound like a name. It just sounds like a random syllable. Like "Kack" or "Glip."

Meanwhile at Guiliani headquarters, Rudy just spoke to the smallest group of people that can still legally be considered a "crowd" after coming in a distant third. Sorry, Rudy!

—lori.

January 28, 2008 — 20:27 EST

Tonight ... for the last time during the current administration (thank you, sweet baby Jeebus!) ... the Goddess is proud and grateful to present ...

The Goddess Watches the President's State of the Union Address
(so you don't have to)

Before tonight's festivities get underway, if I may make a few predictions:

1. The president will not mention hydrogen cars. How could he and maintain a straight face? (Not that Smirk Boy ever maintains a straight face.) President Bush has mentioned hydrogen cars in every one of his past State of the Union speeches. Have you ever seen a hydrogen car? Have you ever seen a picture of a hydrogen car? How can someone -- even President Bush -- have the cheek to promise something for seven years while continually coming up empty? I predict he will finally realize that this is kinda embarrassing.
2. The president will mention Harry Truman. Truman left office with historically low approval ratings. Most historians now agree that the unpopular actions Truman took in his time actually helped spur the end of the Cold War. Truman is Bush's new best friend. Look for him to drop Truman's name near the end of tonight's speech.
3. I predict the state of the union is strong. It always is. That doesn't count as a prediction, really. It's like predicting he'll end with "God Bless America." In fact, I think I will predict he'll end with "God Bless America." Two predictions for the price of one.
4. The speech will be short. The president doesn't like long speeches at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. The lame duck will not quack for too long. I'll say 48 minutes tops. Which will be perfect for me, since that means I can watch Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles on my DVR afterwards.

Mr. Goddess has returned home from his evening class just in time (lucky him). Are we sitting at attention? Let's begin.

9:01 -- Dirk Kempthorne, the Secretary of the Interior, drew the lucky straw tonight and gets to stay home so that the entire order of succession is not in the same room at the same time.

9:04 -- Madam Speaker, the President of the United States!

9:05 -- He's walking, he's walking, they're clapping, they're clapping. Thanks, Wolf Blitzer. A grateful nation owes its grasp of the obvious to you.

9:12 -- I'm sorry, but I think CNN just caught Nancy Pelosi practicing her facial expressions for the night. Let's see: concerned, angry, thoughtful, noncommital. I think I've got them all.

9:13 -- "To build a prosperous future, we must trust people with their own money and empower them to grow our economy. " The $600 rebate checks we're all about to get mark the first applause line. I think I'm going to spend mine on organic fruit, vodka, and iTunes downloads.

9:14 -- "Make the tax relief permanent." And that will be the first of many half-standing ovations for the night.

9:17 -- He's issuing an executive order for government agencies to ignore earkmarks not voted on in open session. Good idea. Too bad he didn't have it seven years ago when the Republicans were building bridges to nowhere.

9:18 -- Wow, now he's just ... laughing! Forget about smirking, he's slipped into a frat-boy cackle.

9:19 -- On to health care. "We share a common goal: making health care more affordable and accessible for all Americans." That gets both sides of the hall standing before the second shoe drops: "The best way to achieve that goal is by expanding consumer choice, not government control." Boo, hiss! He's such a total prick on this subject. He just doesn't get it. "With these steps, we will help ensure that decisions about your medical care are made in the privacy of your doctor's office — not in the halls of Congress." I've never had a doctor or a government official tell me I couldn't have some test or procedure. Now, private insurance companies on the other hand...

9:24 -- "Embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere." I wish I could type the Texas twang as I write this. It sounds much funnier than it reads.

9:25 -- Energy security! Clean energy technology meets with an absolute sprinking of applause. Reduce dependence on oil; Generate coal power while capturing greenhouse gases; Renewable energy; Nuclear power; Improve battery technology for cars and trucks of the future. Sorry hydrogen, but this year the presidential nod goes to electric cars.

9:29 -- Now he's banning the unethical buying, selling, patenting, and cloning of human life. Someone has been watching Minority Report.

9:31 -- "Tonight the armies of compassion continue the march to a new day in the Gulf Coast." Man, even hurricane relief is an act of war.

9:32 -- Ooooh, onto the two biggies: entitlement spending and immigration. The president is pissed. "I came up with proposals, but you guys didn't do anything. You think you're so smart, you come up with something!" OK, that one's not a direct quote, but it's pretty close.

9:34 -- At 9:34 p.m. on Monday, January 28th, I agreed with the president on something. Immigration. "We need to acknowledge that we will never fully secure our border until we create a lawful way for foreign workers to come here and support our economy." Well said, sir.

9:36 -- We've slipped into the foriegn policy portion of the speech. "We will deliver justice to our enemies." Yep, that sounds like our foreign policy.

9:40 -- Now on to Iraq. The president reminds us that a year ago, we changed our strategy and started actually protecting the Iraqi people and sending in skilled public servants to secure the peace. So that only took four years to figure out, then.

9:44 -- "Al Queda is on the run in Iraq and this enemy will be defeated." Another half-assed standing ovation, possibly due to the fact that Al Queda wasn't in Iraq until we got there. It's sort of like congratulating yourself for rounding up a roomful of rats after opening the cage.

9:45 -- Bush makes the troops in Iraq a solemn pledge: "In the fight ahead you will have all you need to protect our nation." Now?! He's pledging that now?! Oh, wait. It's another one-two punch to get the Dems to stand up for that first statement then sit on their hands for the second: "fully fund the troops."

9:47 -- "20,000 of our troops are coming home." Everyone cheers for that one (including yours truly.)

9:49 -- OK, I think I've figured it out. Embolden bad. Empower good. Embolden the enemy. Empower working families.

9:50 -- "We must do the difficult work today, so that years from now people will look back and say that this generation rose to the moment." I think I hear the ghost of Harry Truman stirring.

9:51 -- Another tough nut: the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. "The time has come for a Holy Land where a democratic Israel and a democratic Palestine live side-by-side in peace." That's a great idea! Why didn't anyone think of this before?!

9:53 -- Another bait and switch. Everyone stands for thanking the dedicated government workers who have thwarted further terrorist attacks since 9/11. "But we owe them the tools they need to keep our people safe." Bottom line: if Congress doesn't reathorize the White House's domestic wire tap program by Friday, we're all going to die.

10:01 -- He's quoting the constitution. Must be wrapping up.

10:02 -- "The state of the union will remain strong. God Bless America!" No mention of Truman, but I got two predictions in one paragraph. Dubya out! (Only 357 more days to go.)

—lori.

January 26, 2008 — 19:13 EST

Unflattering Politician of the Week

Dog Days of Politics Edition

"Rudy Guiliani's campaign strategy has gone to the dogs. He's barking up the wrong tree in Florida. So far this primary season, he's been all bark and no bite. It's almost like he has no dog in the hunt."

[Insert your own funny dog caption here.]

—lori.

January 23, 2008 — 21:45 EST

Another week, another Runway.

The Goddess Watches Project Runway
(so you don't have to)

10:02 -- Kit's gone and that's a total bummer. Ricky looks like he's about to cry before the opening credits even finish.

10:03 -- Oh, no. I forgot about Kit's model, Marie. She may be out, too. And there she goes! She was too cute.

10:04 -- Tim is taking them on a field trip to announce the next challenge. They head over the Brooklyn Bridge to a pier somewhere on the East River. There's a lady from Levi's standing in front of a giant warehouse full of hundreds of pairs of jeans. They have three minutes to run in and stuff as many as they can into laundry bags. The challenge is to deconstruct the denim and recreate an iconic look.

10:09 -- Ricky is making denim lingerie. Go for it, Ricky!

10:10 -- Uh, oh. Rami's telling us about his childhood, complete with pictures of him as a cute kid in Jerusalem. That's a clue: designer back story means a chance of elimination.

10:11 -- Quote of the night, from Christian: "Oh my god, I'm going to die of barfness."

10:12 -- Uh, oh. Victorya tells a touching story about her mother. Just when you think you can predict Project Runway, Project Runway throws you a curve.

10:17 -- Wow, Sweet P is making a wedding dress, and he's telling a story about her wedding and her husband, Sage! Damn you, Project Runway. You and your red herrings!

10:19 -- Wow, Ricky was the VP of design for Vera Wang's lingerie line. And Tim thinks his lingerie denim look is stunning! Chris's little denim dress is "incoungruous." Jillian looks like she is making the same coat she made last week with the high collar and the futuristic style. Rami's look could "blow everyone away." Victorya's classic trench is looking a little "patchworky." And Sweet P's wedding dress is "hippy dippy." No preview of Christian's, but that little brat has immunity anyway.

10:24 -- Poor Jillian keeps cutting herself on the sewing machine and looks like she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Plus, Victorya is making a coat as well, that looks very similar to Jillian's and very similar to the look they both made in the previous avant garde challenge.

10:26 -- COMMERCIAL BREAK! The ads for the new Apple Air are very cool, but I don't know if thinness if a killer app.

10:32 -- OK, Christian's look when we finally do see it does look very cool. He uses the sleeves from a jacket to create the legs a new pair of jeans. Clever. But does he have to slam everyone else? "God, if I have to see another tube dress I'm going to kill myself. I can't stand it. I'm gonna die." If I was smart I would have started counting the number of times Christian was "gonna die" from the beginning of the series.

10:42 -- Fashion show time! Here's my take:

• Chris -- liked it
• Ricky -- liked it
• Sweet P -- loved it!
• Victorya -- liked it
• Rami -- liked it
• Christian -- loved it!
• Jillian -- liked it

I must say everything looks a little same-y with the exception of Christian, who is the only one who made a new kind of jeans.

10:43 --Christian is innovative and brilliantly tailored, Chris is dated and home-sewn, Rami is original and creative, Ricky is impeccable (and he starts to cry), Jillian is overly complicated and unflattering, Sweet P is super chic and spectacular, Victorya's looks like a party skirt got glued to a jean jacket.

10:50 --Given the judges comments, I think Christian or Sweet P will win and either Chris or Victorya are out this time. I'm learning toward Victorya for the Auf.

10:56 -- And the winner is ... Ricky! And they will sell his dress in Levi.com! And man, Christian looks pissed. He just gave the judges table the evilest eye ever.

10:57 -- Yep, it's still true: tell a touching story about your mother, get eliminated. Auf Wiedersehen, Victorya.

—lori.

January 20, 2008 — 19:16 EST

The results are in: Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney have won the Nevada caucuses, and John McCain has won the South Carolina primary.

The Democratic caucuses in Nevada are modelled on the Iowa caucuses, so the actual number of voters supporting each candidate is never reported. Instead, all we know is that Clinton won 51% of the county delegates. In fact, in terms of national delegates (delegates who vote in the national nominating conventions), Barack Obama actually beat Clinton, winning 13 delegates to her 12, "a result of a complex formula that gave more weight to votes in some parts of the state," today's New York Times helpfully explains. Nevada Democrats also designate eight "super-delegates," usually elected officials like mayors and Congressmen, who are not committed to any candidate and are free to vote however the hell they like. (All states have "super-delegates" on the Democratic side. None have yet instituted "double-super-duper-dog-dare-delegates.")

The Republican caucuses in Nevada are even more pointless. The vote is simply a "straw poll," so at least we do know that 51% of caucus-goers selected Romney. However, the process by which Nevada Republicans award their 34 national delegates is completely unrelated to the caucus. Again, from the New York Times: "The state convention is April 26, during which all 34 delegates to the national convention are selected. There is no formal system of allocating delegates to presidential candidates at the state convention."

In other news, the New England Patriots have won the AFC championship, and it's really cold outside today. I hope that clears things up.

—lori.

January 18, 2008 — 19:15 EST

Unflattering Politician Photo of the Week

(The Bull Stops Here Edition)

"A fish, a bull, and a U.S. Senator walk into a bar ... stop me if you've heard this one before ..."

John McCain has a well-deserved reputation for telling it like it is. He told out-of-work auto workers in Michigan that their jobs were "never coming back," when Mitt Romney -- also know as Pander McPanderson, the mayor of Pandertown -- told them he would "fight for every job." To thank McCain for his honesty, Michigan voters showed him the door.

Now McCain takes his Straight Talk Express into South Carolina, where his 2000 campaign went up in flames amidst nasty smear attacks that he was the father of an "illigitimate black baby." He is in fact the father of an "adopted child from Bangladesh." Somehow I don't think that was the point his attacker were hoping to convey.

So there are two contests tomorrow: the Nevada caucuses and the Republican primary in South Carolina. The caucuses are for both the Democrats and the Republicans, but again for reasons no one ever explains!, the Republicans aren't paying attention to the Nevada contest at all. I'll be staked out in front of C-SPAN tomorrow and will report back what I find.

—lori.

January 16, 2008 — 12:29 EST

So, three elections and three different winners in the GOP presidential race. First, Mike Huckabee "came out of nowhere" to win Iowa, then John McCain staged a "miraculous comeback" in New Hampshire, and yesterday Mitt Romney executed a "must-win" in Michigan. It's like a game of political "Whack-A-Mole" out there: you slam one candidate down and another one pops up somewhere else.

By the way, if you're wondering what happened to the Democrats in Michigan you're not alone. It seems Michigan threw a primary and nobody came. More accurately, Michigan Democrats tried to throw their primary before February 5th's "Super Tuesday." Major faux pas. Michigan Democrats were told to sit in the naughty corner. The national party has stripped Michigan of its convention delegates. The candidates agreed not to campaign in the state. Oh and by the way: the same thing is going to happen to Florida's Democratic primary in a couple weeks. And again, nobody on the cable news networks ever really talked it. (Check out this reporter's blog to learn more about how millions of voters and 366 national delegates will be discounted in this close election year.)

But hey, who cares the future of the Democratic Party or the role of voters in selecting candidates for the most powerful office in the world? It's fashion time!

The Goddess Watches Project Runway
(so you don't have to)

10:02 -- Ooooo, I like Heidi's dress today. And the challenge is rather crazy. They must create an avant garde outfit to match their model's goofy hairstyle. Nobody picks the white girl with dreadlocks. Sad for her.

10:05 -- "Designers!" Tim explains that the look does not have to be practical or even wearable. And of course, they are working in teams this time (I don't like team challenges. I'm not much of a team player.) Kit and Ricky are a team. Sweet P and Rami are a team. Chris and Christian are a team. Victorya and Jillian are a team. They have to pick which model to use and who will be the leader. Victorya and Jillian can't really agree on anything so they resort to flipping coins.

10:10 -- Quote of the night, from Christian: "If I was a diva, my name would be Ferosh!"

10:12 -- Oh, there's trouble on team Rami. Rami doesn't think Sweet P can make a pair of trousers, and Sweet P wishes Rami would just chill the hell out already.

10:16 -- "I have a special annoucement," says Tim in his "special announcement" voice. Turns out there will be a second look walking down the runway tomorrow. Each team must create a ready-to-wear garment that matches their avant garde look. Horror and nausea ensue.

10:22 -- It's the commercial break, and I must note that the producers haven't spent much time focusing on Chris and Christian or Ricky and Kit. So I'll predict they are safe. I must also note that Kit and Chris are quite possibly the nicest most fun people I've never met.

10:30 -- Rami's dress looks too much like Rami because he won't let Sweet P in. All Sweet P can hope for is that they don't end up in some kind of fist fight. Meanwhile, it's midnight and Jillian and Victorya haven't even started on their ready-to-wear look.

10:35 -- "In all honesty, I know we're going to win." I'll give you one guess who said that.

10:37 -- Hey, we're more than half-way through an episode and Ricky hasn't cried yet!

10:42 -- Fashion show time! Here's my take:

• Rami and Sweet P -- hated Rami's avant garde dress; liked Sweet P's ready-to-wear
• Chris and Christian -- loved both!
• Kit and Ricky -- liked both
• Jillian and Victorya -- loved the avant garde piece, hated the ready-to-wear

10:50 -- Victorya/Jillian and Chris/Christian have the highest scores. The judges seem to love everything from these guys.

10:53 -- Uh oh. Kit is in trouble. I like her quilted dress, but I guess it isn't really avant garde. More home-spun avant garde.

10:58 -- It's down to Rami and Kit, and I think Kit may be going down.

10:59 -- Total bummer, man. Kit is out. She never won a challenge either. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Auf Wiedershen, Kit!

—lori.